Okay so guys, do you feel that urge to smack a girl on her butt or in worst case scenario molest/rape/defile them? Why not grow up and put the Bible down and slap the monkey around a few times. I can say that deep down, I want them all, every girl ever and yes I fantasize about some NSFW illegal things. My fantasies stay that way, no one needs to know them, but come on Al Franken, Roy Moore and Donnie, if you just used the hands that nature gave you to chunk the monkey, then maybe you wouldn’t make your sick twisted fantasies reality. My fantasy is power, but every day I masturbate, I have more power than some wannabe Christian who is raping little boys/girls for their purity. I am mentally ill, but still, recognize that my dick is my dick.
Legally I could put it in a blender if that was what I was into. So in summary boys/men/politicians, keep our inside-out out pants and invest in some tissues, lube, socks. We need to make masturbation great again, no need to feel icky about it. No one will go to hell or lose eyesight unless you cum into your own eyeball… that shit stings. This isn’t a joke, ducking grow up and just get your horny snake done with. If you are a pervert at work… just wack it off prior to work, problem solved. If you get the urge at work? Go on a masturbation break in the bathroom and just get it out. In a strip mall in Alabama? First of all why you there, if you are there to buy stuff proceed, if you are a fuckin pedo just leave, go somewhere and jerk it off to your posters or Loretta Lynn or something. Men, we can stop this by finding our own ways to keep our healthcare up and fighting urges. We gotta get our friends to stop using their dicks to get stuff. Our rape culture is on us. Women have the right to wear what they want, just like we have the right to masturbate in our homes. Heck, I bet if you masturbate enough, a fairy will come take your top hair off your head! Sorry for the rant…. it is directed towards pedos, creeps and sexually aggressive folks. I hate when someone says masturbation is a sin and 2 years later they get caught molesting little girls!!! Fuck that.
– Tommi Asylum