I don’t have a voice narrator, as much as a thought narrator in my head. Every time I would go out to do something the narration would start, but does that mean that I am abnormal or is my brain just more fit than others. Maybe I have an advantage over other people, as my brain is able to point out the obvious dilemmas that are out in the open in society. Gee, this bridge is too high or gee wiz this doesn’t look very safe. The negative thoughts start pouring in.
I will be talking to my friends, and I will have an uncontrollable thought that they hate me, that I am not cool, and that I am unworthy of their friendship. This is so frustrating though because I can just ask my friends if they hate me or if they aren’t comfortable with me. There have been a couple of times where people have taken advantage of this in my life but those people are no longer welcome aboard Thomas the train engine!
The same thing happens online, I try to ignore them but I will automatically have uncontrollable thoughts that tell a narrative, it is like I have two thought processes that are running my one body right now. My regular thoughts like what I am typing right now and my other thoughts are telling me that I suck. I have tried to make a friendship with my other thought, but he/it/she is not looking out for the best in me and is self-destructive. I have come up with a simple solution to block her out, I can confirm that my friends love me and that my thoughts are just silly. If I can confirm those thoughts are just stupid, I can move on in life.
I don’t believe it is the end of the world though, cause I know if I ignore this thought process, that is not my own I can really do anything I want to do. It is like having a bad parent tell you that you can’t do this or that or that you are a failure in life. You have to move on and see the positives in life. There is nothing wrong with having a narrative in your mind, just got to use it to your advantage.
It also doesn’t help that I am smart, and that I am a genius, and that I am totally on the planet-X right now when it comes to things, so I might sound crazy but, gee maybe it is a good gift to have a second opinion on life, even if it is negative. Keep moving forward people, as it is the only life we have to live.
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– Colorful Asylum