What If I Did It?

Note: Suicide is a triggering topic for some, none of what I wrote should be triggery, if you are in danger of being triggered or are suicidal, please go to the nearest ER/ED. 

• I would not have made the Dean’s list for 8 straight semesters on the road to two Associate Degrees and a Bachelors degree.
• I would not have been accepted into Graduate School and have went on to complete one of the courses already.
• I would not have won a scholarship/grant from NASA or the National Science Foundation.
• I would never had spent a wonderful summer down in Arizona working for the BLM.
• I would never had started a blog and touched the lives of many with mental illness or cerebral palsy.
• I wouldn’t have had the experience of holding my mom’s hand as she went into a coma that killed her.
• I would never had seen many of my friends elected to positions in government and being happy for them along the way.
• I would never had went to a support group for mental illness and met some lifelong friends.
• I would never have experience a non-profit board or been appointed to it.
• I would never had driven across the country to visit my aunt.
• I would have never bought my first car.
• I would have never gotten married and divorced.
• I would have never graduated in the top of my class three times!
• I would never had imagined getting a 4.0 my last semester of 4-year college!
• I would never had owned cats and learned to love them.
• I would never had owned rats and learned to love them.
• I would never had owned mice and learned to love them.
• I would never had became a vegan and vegetarian and learned more about food choices.
• I would never had witnessed an end to a great administration.
• I would never had moved out of my parents house or rented ever.
• I would never had experience the Bernie Sanders campaign so close.
• I would never have met Bernie Sanders.
• I would never have met this lovely person who is close to my heart.
• I would never have had the experience to facilitate a mental health support group for a year.
• I would never have had the experience of talking to peers about my struggles and opening up to them.
• I would never had become a mathematics and writing tutor.
• I would never had taken Calculus or Trig.
• I would never in a million years thought I was going to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree let alone go to Graduate school.

I would never had…..

Warm regards,

– Colorful Asylum