My relationship of 5 months ended earlier today as expected, with the woman abusing me and making me feel like the hurtful one. Every time I opened up more to her she pushed away and made me feel more and more like an outcast. To her she was the love of my life, to me she was an abusive and manipulative woman. She claimed to be finding her faith, yet it was okay to break it 3x for sex and to lie to me about being pregnant multiple times.
She had me believe she was pregnant only to tell me she was lying afterwards! She made me feel bad for lying to her to get the truth! She was only doing this to get my attention and probably to make me feel bad about it when she used it to make me do stuff I didn’t want. For example; this woman wanted me to become an LDS man and submit to her family. Her family already hated me because I wear adult diapers for a condition I was born with. I have no choice, they are bigots. Her family is full of abuse and neglect towards herself and others. It changed my views of how “nice” the LDS church is. I have no issues with Mormons and love them, but the way “their” LDS values clashed with the ones the Elders were talking about to me were criminally different.
I am still going to explore the LDS faith more and look into the Book of Mormon but I guess my journey will be by myself instead of being told how I am not really good enough by a manipulative family. Maybe if they listened to the baby or the family who is currently 24 instead of belittling her choices in life or physically assaulting her with a belt weekly, maybe she wouldn’t be so scared of commitment. Another abusive woman who used me for my good looks and kindness. She will go on my wall of shame… I should make one.
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